When we heard the official word that they were making a new Transformers movie, our pop cult ears perked up. There were questions of course. How would they do it? Live action or CGI? Who would do the voices and play the human component? Who would write it and who would direct it? Would we get another Daredevil or a Batman Begins? Like most of the internet we watched the viral videos of live action/cgi asking "Is this test footage "? What about this ? How about a transformer navy? Hell, guys with a decent PC and some free time on their hands were delving into the transformer world , why not Hollywood? We speculated as to the plot and the characters, but the important thing was it was being attempted.
Growing up I had three staples in my sandbox. Star Wars action figures (often hanging out in the Cantina or battling Jabba on his sail barge), G.I. Joe (usually waging a massive attack on Cobra's secret desert base somewhere far away from my mid western surroundings) and Transformers. The wonder of transformer toys was their dual nature. How cool was it to have a super sonic jet that turned into a bad ass killer robot? Or a semi truck that becomes a leader of an entire sect of intelligent machines? Our imaginations ran wild with plots and scenarios, fueled by a half hour animated tour de force everyday from 3 to 3:30.
The rumor mill then revealed a writer from Alias would be penning the script. This was a positive sign, as Alias is a well written show with a depth and involvement often lacking from broadcast TV. And then another bombshell. Mr. popcorn chomping, blow up every piece of set and scenery himself, Micheal Bay, was set to direct. The man that brought us Armagedon, Pearl Harbor, The Rock and Bad Boys I and II was set to bring our childhood adventures to life! Now your talking!
But then we saw this article , and our baited breath was expelled in a defeated sigh. Megatron as a jet? WTF? Are we that over-protective of our kids that we can't have a giant gun anymore? Soundwave as a 4 foot robot? Say it aint SO!!!! and then the worst news of all. They have already gotten the viral marketing set up with a walking Xbox and a plasma TV sprouting arms. What is its weapon? High definition reruns of Bosom Buddies?
Maybe we are jaded in our old age, but signs are not looking good for this remake. Don't get us wrong, we are going to hand over our 9 bucks to the Red Army that is Hollywood, but we will be doing so with our hearts in our hands and our spirits lower then Drill Dasher on a mission to The Core . But all hope is not lost. Perhaps these vicious rumors are not true. Maybe this will be an amazing film on par with those hobbit movies, but we won't be holding our breath.
~ Raymond Chandler